Compassion, giving and containment: milestones in helping others– Hagit Leaman

“כִּֽי־תִרְאֶ֞ה חֲמ֣וֹר שֹׂנַאֲךָ֗ רֹבֵץ֙ תַּ֣חַת מַשָּׂא֔וֹ וְחָדַלְתָּ֖ מֵעֲזֹ֣ב ל֑וֹ עָזֹ֥ב תַּעֲזֹ֖ב עִמּֽוֹ”

“If you see your enemy’s donkey lying under its burden would you refrain from helping him? You shall surely help along with him”

עָזֹ֥ב תַּעֲזֹ֖ב – You shall surely help – The question is asked why there is emphasis here [in Hebrew there is a repetition of the word עזב]. The English translation explains that the emphasis tells us that we must help again and again, showing that this mitzvah is: a.  talking about helping and b. that we must help again and again.

Rashi also explains the words “עזב תעזב” as helping, as is mentioned in several other places in the Tanach. I also found a commentary that says that the repetition refers to two stages: one: עזוב, you must leave, throw out what you have got in your heart about the other person – because he is your enemy, and then – תעזב – then you can help. In other words, you can only help when it is done wholeheartedly, only when you clean your heart from negative feelings towards the person who needs help.

Previously it says “וְחָדַלְתָּ֖ מֵעֲזֹ֣ב ל֑וֹ” – Rashi explains this as a question: can you stop helping help? Can you see the person’s difficulty and continue walking, without stopping to help?

The answer is “of course not”. If you thought to avoid taking any action here, you should know that you must stop and help, even if this an animal belonging to your enemy.

The pasuk talks about helping animals, but it seems that it extends much further than that. We have to help anyone who needs our help. The special case mentioned in the pasuk is – how we must help. We must do this by removing one’s load. Just as animals have loads that weigh them down, so people sometimes have very heavy loads on their hearts, and we have to help them unload their sorrows. The question is how?

The focus is on the word: עמו, with him. The Torah asks us to do this together with him, to be with him in his difficult time, to understand his distress and to try and help him exactly in the way he needs, to align with his expectations.

Also in last week’s parasha – Yitro – we see that Yitro suggests to Moshe to appoint people from the nation to help him judge the people, because it was too much for him to do this alone. “וְהָקֵל מֵעָלֶיךָ וְנָשְׂאוּ אִתָּךְ” – they shall bear [the burden] with you – i.e. the people that will be chosen will bear the burden together with Moshe.

Let’s go back to our mitzvah – עָזֹ֥ב תַּעֲזֹ֖ב עִמּֽוֹ – in order to keep this mitzvah properly, I believe that we have to have several important characteristics: compassion, giving and the ability to be inclusive of others.

We have to be able to understand the pain that the other person feels and share in that pain, to want to help him wholeheartedly and give from ourselves as much as possible, help him unload his sorrow until we feel that the mission has been completed. You shall surely help!!

Let’s hope that we can all know how to show compassion, give and extend our understanding – things that are difficult to find in our times, and yet, so important in order to improve our lives.