Vayeshev – To be a Leader

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Have you ever dreamed of being a leader? Whether it be the captain of the sports team or the C.E.O of a company, being a leader rises us up to success. At the same time, do we know what being a leader really entails? Are we ready to take on hardships and responsibility to achieve our goals? In order to be a true leader, one must serve as the pillar, supporting and building every step of the way. In Judaism, the power of a leader doesn’t just reside in his charisma or dedication, it goes beyond that. A leader must also know that if his followers trip, he must break their fall. In this week’s article, we will explore the quality of leadership from the Torah’s perspective.

In this week’s Parsha two stories intertwine. The first is Yosef‘s feud with his brothers, which ends in the sale of Yosef to slavery. The second is the story of Tamar and Yehuda, in which Yehuda marries off his oldest sons to Tamar. The brothers both die as a result of their sins. Tamar insists on bringing offspring from Yehuda yet Yehuda procrastinates giving over his third son. In turn, Tamar disguises herself in order to trick Yehuda into having relations with her to fulfill her destiny of bringing children from Yehuda who would become kings of Israel for generations. It is interesting to note that these two stories are literally mixed together in the text. The Torah in Breishit, chapter 37 ends with Yosef being sold and brought to Egypt. Chapter 39 is a direct continuation of Yosef‘s slavery. In between is chapter 38, which tells the story of Yehuda and Tamar. It is logical to ask about the connection between these two stories. Our sages claim that the story of Yehuda and Tamar is a direct consequence of the selling of Yosef (Midrash Tanchuma 8):

למה נסמכה פרשה זו לכאן, והפסיק בפרשתו של יוסף? ללמד שהורידוהו אחיו (‑ליהודה) מגדולתו. כשראו בצרת אביהם, אמרו: “אתה אמרת למכרו, אילו אמרת להשיבו היינו שומעים לך!”.

Why was this Parsha (Yehuda and Tamar) Adjacent to here? To tell us that Yehuda’s brothers removed him from his glory, when they saw the pain of their father they said “you told us to sell him (Yosef) if you only would have insisted that we return him we would have listened!”.

Such a perspective is mind-boggling. Yehuda tried his utmost to help prevent his brothers from murdering Yosef. They were furious at Yosef. Yehuda convinced his brothers to put Yosef in a pit and sell him as a slave. Yehuda should have a clean slate but on the contrary, as a result of his actions, he had to go through the unfortunate episode with Tamar. How could Yehuda be blamed after all it was the brothers who should be punished for their ruthless act?

There is a deep message behind this story. Yehuda was a leader and his brothers admired him so much that they would follow his wishes no matter the circumstance. Specifically when the brothers were about to murder Yosef, that was the moment for Yehuda to step up as a leader and insist that Yosef be returned to his family. However, Yehuda hesitated and did not have the courage to suggest such an idea. Instead, he settled with less, that they would sell Yosef to slavery and in turn save his life.

Leadership is not just a privilege; it is also a huge responsibility. The story of Yehuda teaches us that our leaders must be fearless of outside pressure. A leader must understand that he must bear all responsibility for his nation just as a parent is completely responsible for a child. This story in an ironic way tells us the potential of Yehuda. Hashem gave Yehuda the opportunity to develop his potential as a leader through these episodes with his brothers and Tamar. In future generations, Yehuda and his tribe were the backbone of Jewish society. When the Nation of Israel was waiting at the sea upon leaving Egypt and the Egyptians were on their backs, the people of Israel froze and could not bring themselves to jump in the water. At that critical moment Nachson Ben Aminadav, from the tribe of Yehuda showed leadership by taking the first leap into the sea. Hashem then split the waters and the Nation of Israel was saved. Our greatest kings and leaders over the generations stemmed from Yehuda.

Once a young boy was walking with his father and saw a middle-aged man guiding a dog on a leash. When the boy saw the dog walking ahead of his owner, he asked his father “why is the dog the one leading the man?” His father told him “look again my son”. The boy saw the dog and his owner stop at a fork in the road, the dog stopped and looked back at his owner to direct him which path to take. Only then did the child understand who was leading. Many times we wish to lead but don’t really know what leadership entails. We are not willing to accept the true responsibility, and when the moment arrives, we look back at our followers, not knowing which way to turn.

A modern day example of courageous leaders in the State of Israel is the commanders of the IDF. In contrast to other armed forces around the world, in the Israeli army, the highest-ranking commanders are the ones who are on the front lines. They are willing to sacrifice their lives to lead the forces, displaying the quality of true leadership. In order to become leaders in any sector in life, we must be at the front lines with courage and strength to lead no matter what it takes.